The Truth About Snowflakes
by Gabs
Summary: Mutant snowflakes invade, and there's only one hot man who can stop them... {featuring almost the whole cast}


**The Truth About Snowflakes  
**_or, what the bloody hell is going on here?_

written by Becky and Gabs

**Disclaimer:** none of them belong to us, though we do greatly enjoy our clones of the non-dead hot man...

---

It was a cold day in the city; so cold, in fact, that it had started to snow. Was snow unusual in this city? Maybe, or maybe not… it's rather hard to tell with these things, you see. But at any rate, it was indeed snowing this day. Also in this city, on this day, many strange events took place. These most certainly were not usual, and you shall hear about them now…

Our tale begins on a dark night, where a dark man waits with a dark purpo… whoops, sorry, that's Aladdin. Wrong story.

Ahem.

Our story begins on a cold morning, when a tired young woman rolled out of bed and landed on the floor. After standing up, Sydney stretched gracefully and took a step forward before tripping over the carpet. Standing up yet again, she rubbed the sleep from her eyes and headed for the bathroom to take a quick, warm shower.

After she'd gotten dressed, she walked out the door- you see, she got dressed before she walked out the door because she didn't want to get fined for indecent exposure in public and all. She's a sensible girl, really- and surveyed the street. After a moment, a young man, also dressed, walked out of the house and stood beside her.

"It's snowing," he noted slowly.

"Yeah… that's what the white stuff is called," Sydney replied sarcastically. Vaughn nodded thoughtfully.

"So what are our plans for the day?"

"Well… we need to put up Christmas decorations still…"

"You mean like… mistletoe?" he asked with a wink.

"Exactly," she grinned in response.

"We should be able to handle that." They turned around, still dressed of course, and went back into the house, quite missing the man who was surreptitiously watching them from across the street. Of course, the fact that he was dressed in black didn't help his cause… but we'll overlook that fact.

"They've gone back into the house," he said quietly into a cell phone.

"Yes, I can see that. I'm standing right next to you, Sark."

"Oh… right. Forgot that part." Sloane rolled his eyes and turned back to the house across the street. Sark looked around cautiously before leaning closer to Sloane.

"Why are we here again?" he whispered.

"I've told you this a hundred times now, Julian," Sloane sighed. "We're here because for some inexplicable reason, they're borrowing Dr. Barnett's house while she's out of town with Kendall."

"Right." Sark paused uncertainly. "And that's important… why?"

"Because we need to get to her basement. And if you ask me why again, there will be unpleasant ramifications."

"Such as?" Sark asked dubiously.

"Such as me ramming that tree branch through your chest." Sark glanced at the tree branch in question before raising an eyebrow.

"Ah. Yes… that could be rather unpleasant indeed."

"Indeed…" Sloane nodded wisdomously. He then raised an eyebrow, as he noticed a car pulling up to the street across the house. No… no, make that the house across the street. "Who is that?" he wondered aloud.

"I believe… it's Irina Derevko," Sark said, whispering again. He and Sloane exchanged curious glances before turning their utmost attention to the car. Surely enough, Irina Derevko emerged moments later. She popped the trunk of her car and walked around, pulling out a large box. She quickly leaned into the passenger side, apparently speaking to someone, before hurrying up the walkway to the door.

"Mom?" Sydney's eyes widened as she opened the door and caught sight of their visitor. Irina smiled tentatively.

"I only have a moment, sweetheart, and then I have to run. But I wanted to drop by and leave some things."

"Wait… how'd you know where I was?" Sydney questioned. Irina rolled her eyes.

"Sweetie, I'm Irina Derevko."

"Oh… right. Oooh, Christmas presents?" Irina smiled again.

"Yes, something for you and something for Vaughn."

"Vaughn?" Sydney repeated, confused.

"Of course… it'd be rude of me not to give him something, wouldn't it?"

"Uh… I guess so… oh, come in. I'll go get him." Irina stepped in and shut the door behind her; moments later, Sydney reappeared, a reluctant Vaughn in tow. Irina excitedly handed them each a gift.

"Black wrapping paper?" Vaughn noted dubiously. Irina shrugged.

"What did you expect? Snowmen and Santa Claus?" Still looking uncertain, Vaughn sat on a couch and began unwrapping his gift. Sydney had already begun working on hers, but found herself held down by layer upon layer of tape.

"It might take you a while, Sydney," Irina pointed out helpfully.

"Yeah… thanks mom, I hadn't noticed…"

"What the hell is this?" Vaughn asked as he got his open.

"Oh, that? It's a very special gift, Michael, from me to you."

"Yeah… that didn't answer the question."

"Oh, right… it's a miniature flame-thrower." Vaughn looked up at her, baffled.

"What on earth would I want this for? And what makes it so special?" Irina smiled in fond remembrance.

"It's one of the weapons I killed your father with," she said. Vaughn's jaw dropped and he looked at her in horror. "Well, I must run along now. Enjoy those Christmas presents!" Irina called as she turned towards the door.

"Wait! Leaving so soon?" Sydney questioned, still working on her tape.

"Yes, unfortunately… I really should be gone before your father gets here."

"Why?" Sydney pressed.

"Well, I'm just not sure how he would react to finding me leaving town with Marshall. We're off on a romantic getaway, you see. Take care!" Before anyone could say another word, Irina was out the door. Sydney continued to struggle with the immense prowess of the taped present, as Vaughn stared on in utter shock.

Meanwhile… still outside of the house in the bitter cold, Sloane and Sark surveyed the scene. Neither could conjure up the words to describe the situation, so Sark broke the eerie silence.

"Did she say she was leaving with Marshall?? I mean, she could probably have any guy in the world, and she picks-"

Sloane waved him off. "Sark, focus. We have a plan, remember? We have got to get into the basement and extract...Him."

Sark rolled his eyes. "Oh yes, of course. Him," he quipped jealously. "Honestly Arvin, you make it seem like he is sooo special, when in actuality-"

Sloane sighed loudly, interrupting Sark's vague ramblings and musings. "Thank you, Sark. Now please. We are to break into the house through the front door, as it seems to be perfectly wide open at the moment. Then we are to head to the basement. Feel free to use any force necessary. Any questions?"

Sark hesitated. "Yes. Umm… seriously. Marshall??"

"Sark…" Sloane groaned. "Whatever. Let's just get this over with."

And so they did.

It is a generally accepted rule that most people close their doors after a visitor, you see, but after Irina's sudden departure Vaughn and Sydney were too muddled and confused to think about that.

Sydney was continuing her epic battle with the present when their new 'visitors' entered through the doorway. Her mouth dropped in shock. "Sloane?? Sark?? What the hell are you doing at Dr. Barnett's house??"

Sloane smirked and leveled his gun at her. "Dear Sydney, you ask too many questions. Sark? To the basement!"

Sark departed down the stairs, leaving Sloane to menace Sydney and Vaughn.

"If either of you move, you will most likely experience a horrible death. So… no moving."

Unbeknownst to him, Sydney surreptitiously opened the gift from Irina behind her back. Spies have such talents, you know. She decided to stall for some time. "Sloane, what are you going to do? And what's in the basement?"

Sloane laughed quietly. "It's not 'what' is in the basement, Sydney. It's 'who.'"

He received two very blank stares in return.

"Wait," said Vaughn. "You mean there's a person-"

Immediately Sloane turned and shot Vaughn in the chest. "Dammit man, I said no moving! Talking is moving!"

Vaughn threw him a horrified look as the blood seeped down his chest. "But...Sydney got to talk!"

"True," Sloane said thoughtfully. "But I like her. You're right though. She did talk." And so Sloane turned and shot Sydney in the leg. She cried out and glared at him. "Oh, don't worry Sydney. Leg wounds aren't fatal! You might be off your feet for a couple hours though."

As Vaughn collapsed onto the floor, Sark came up from the basement wielding what appeared to be a body bag. As Sloane and Sark tried to fit the body through the doorway, however, they were surprised to discover it didn't fit.

Using time to her advantage, the ever-clever spy opened the rest of her gift from Irina and prayed for a miracle. Somehow, someway, her prayers were returned. In front of her, a tiny hologram of Irina appeared with a smile.

The tiny Irina folded her arms and beamed with pride. "Ahh, Sydney. This is a pre-recorded message. If you somehow managed to open the present I gave you that means your need is great. Luckily for you, there is a tracking device inside of your gift - I hope it helps! Bye sweetheart!" And then the tiny Irina zapped away, and Sydney stared on in mass amounts of confusion. Glancing back at the doorway she noticed Sloane and Sark still struggling with the massive body bag.

She finally opened the rest of the gift, and was surprised to find… a wrench. She blinked. "A wrench? What the hell?"

Then the sound of Irina's voice rang in her head. "...a tracking device inside of your gift."

With a newfound determination, Sydney chucked the wrench in the direction of her nemeses. As her vision faded, she watched with a sense of pride as it somehow landed in Sark's handbag. She vaguely registered the oddity of a man carrying a handbag before collapsing on the ground near Vaughn.

Unfortunately for our fallen heroes, Sark and Sloane managed to shove the body through the door.

"You know," Sark commented cooly. "Since he's actually alive, the ridiculous body bag was probably unnecessary. That Barnett is one sick doctor..."

Sloane shrugged. "Yeah. Then again, she has great choice in men." He beamed with pride as Sark looked on with a disgusted look growing on his face.

As if with divine inspiration, Sark looked up and saw the remnants of the Christmas decorations. "Arvin… look. It's a mistletoe." His eyes brimmed with hope as Sloane turned to look at him with an unreadable look in his eye.

"Yes, Julian… it is a mistletoe," Sloane replied softly, quite ignoring the body bag that had landed roughly near his feet.

"And we're under it," Sark continued in a whisper.

"So we are," Sloane said in the same quiet tone, moving just slightly closer.

"It's tradition… highly important," Sark noted.

"So it is," Sloane breathed, continuing to close the gap between them. Sark's breath caught, and he felt his eyes close of their own volition as Sloane inched closer.

Alas, just before their magical connection could be fulfilled, a loud sound broke the moment.

"What the bloody hell's going on here?" an angry voice demanded from inside the body bag. "Let me out!" Sark stepped away from Sloane with a frustrated sigh.

"One second, Arvie." He quickly reached into his handbag, pulled out a wrench, and whacked the body bag with it. He then paused, looking at the wrench with confused wonderment. "Where on earth…?" With a shrug, he set the wrench back into his bag and whirled to face Arvin again. "What's wrong?" he questioned, noticing the sad look on Sloane's face. Sloane pointed to the ground.

"The mistletoe fell." Sark sighed.

"Curses," he mumbled.

"Later. I'm sure there'll be time later. Now…" he turned his focus to the body bag, completely professional once again. "Let's move Him to the car. Wait… where is the car?"

"Oh… uh… it broke down this morning," Sark said. Sloane looked at him, raising an eyebrow.

"Well then how did you get here?" Sark coughed nervously before pointing down the street. Sloane turned to look, shaking his head in disbelief once he saw.

"A ihorse-drawn carriage/i?" Sark shrugged.

"It has excellent handling, sir. I promise." Sloane continued shaking his head.

"I'm not driving," he grumbled as he grabbed the body bag. Sark quickly took hold of another part and they slowly struggled their way out to the buggy. With Sark at the reins, the carriage began clopping down the street, passing by Dr. Barnett's house just in time for Sydney and Vaughn to appear at the door and see them leaving.

"Let's chase them!" Vaughn yelled, causing Sydney to flinch as he was, after all, standing right next to her. She rolled her eyes slightly.

"Oh, sure Vaughn… I can barely stand, and you… well, I don't know how you're not dead after Sloane shot you like that." Suddenly, Vaughn collapsed again, and Sydney smacked her forehead. "Damn it! I knew I shouldn't have said anything!" She gingerly knelt down beside him and checked for a pulse, sighing in relief as she found that he was still alive. A sudden chill shook her to the core, and she glanced up to find that it had started snowing once again. She frowned, feeling something distinctly unusual about these snowflakes. She leaned forward as one landed on the ground near her feet, examining it closer. After a moment, she gasped. It was…

a mutant snowflake!!

Leaving our fallen heroes to deal with the oh-so-mysterious mutant snowflakes, Sloane and Sark traveled along the road in the horse-drawn carriage. They clunked along until Sark remembered he had long ago acquired the ability to steal cars.

They pulled up to a stop at the nearest light, and turned to look at the cars nearest to them. With a smirk, Sark gestured to the Viper next to them. "That's what I'm talking about..."

Sloane nodded, but was looking out the opposite direction. "What, the Volvo? Yes, I'm told they're very safe. And considering what we're transporting, that is definitely a plus. Kudos for the thought, Julian!"

Sark's mouth dropped open in horror as he looked at the Viper longingly, and then over at the Volvo. Viper. Volvo. Viper. Volvo. However, he had precious little time to protest, as Sloane got out of the carriage, displaying remarkable strength as he carried the body bag by himself.

With a groan, Sark got out and followed, vowing to buy a Viper at the next opportunity. In the meantime, he pulled out his gun, and they proceeded to steal the car - which ended up being only slightly faster than the carriage was. After all, Volvos are very safe...

They returned to one of Sloane's nearby mansions and brought the body bag inside. They stumbled along, trying to carry the man who fortunately did not wake up again. The duo clumsily made their way down the stairs, and deposited the body on the floor.

Sloane turned to look at Sark. "So, Julian... impressive work," he said with a twinkle in his eye.

Sark allowed a small smile to creep onto his face. "You as well, Arvin. Most impressive."

"You know, Julian," Sloane hesitated. "I was just thinking about what almost happened earlier at Barnett's house."

Sark looked down nervously. "Yes... I have to admit I have thought about it quite a bit myself..." Sark looked up and Sloane met his eyes.

"Julian, I..." His voice trailed off as he searched for the proper words.

Sark swallowed hard, offering a prayer that Sloane shared similar thoughts. "It's okay, Arvin, I understand-"

"No, I don't think you do. Julian, I-"

Before Sloane could continue his declaration, they both turned to the mumbling from the body bag on the floor.

Sloane looked away from Sark with a hint of sadness in his eyes. "We should probably get him out of there."

Sark nodded sadly. "Yes, you're probably right..."

And so they did. Out of the bag came a very shirtless man with incredibly chiseled muscles. His dark hair fell across his face, and he looked on wearily. "What's going on?" he mumbled in a confused but sexily accented voice.

"I've got this," Sark said hastily. He rushed forward to help the man out of the bag, and moved him to a nearby chair. He took the handcuffs he always kept in his back pocket out, and cuffed the man's left arm, needless to say, to the armrest.

Sloane frowned, jealousy growing slightly on his face at the young good looks of the man. "What did you say this man's name was again?"

Sark looked up with a smile. "Simon. Simon Walker. I worked with him before, and he has always done good work."

Sloane tried to shrug off the pangs of jealousy he felt as he noticed Simon's incredible six-pack. "Oh... okay then. So this is the only man who can possibly stop us…" Sark nodded.

Suddenly, they heard a noise from above them. "Daddy," called a woman's voice. "Are you down there? I'm coming down..."

Sloane and Sark exchanged worried glances. "Oh no," whispered Sloane. "Nadia's coming!"

Simon blinked rapidly, still trying to clear his head. "Nadia… who?" he mumbled.

"That's not your concern," Sloane snapped before turning to Sark. "We cannot allow her to come down here and see this. She doesn't know our plans, and if she finds out, it could ruin everything." Sark nodded in understanding. Sloane turned and hurried up the stairs; Sark took a moment to pose dramatically before rushing after him. Simon used his free hand to rub his face, shaking his head in utter confusion.

"What the bloody hell is going on? Have you both lost your minds?" he yelled after them. He was met with utter silence, and he could only sigh in defeat.

Meanwhile, Sark and Sloane were busy preventing Nadia from descending into the basement. They were 'casually' standing at the top of the stairs, completely blocking any possible way for her to go down. She looked from one to the other curiously, not fooled for a moment.

"What's going on down there?" she demanded of Sloane.

"Down where? Oh, you mean the basement? Uh… nothing. Not a thing, Nadia." She glanced over to Sark, who was whistling innocently, and studiously avoiding making eye contact.

"Dad, I'm not stupid," Nadia stated. "I heard you two come in and it sounded like you were carrying something heavy. Then I heard someone yelling. Now please, tell me what you're doing." Sark and Sloane exchanged nervous glances; at a small nod from Sloane, Sark stepped forward and began to speak.

"I'll tell you what we're doing: we have a man named Simon Walker handcuffed down there, after kidnapping him from Dr. Barnett's basement where she had him locked up for… well, we don't quite want to know what. While at Dr. Barnett's house, Sloane shot and potentially killed your sisters boyfriend, Mr. Vaughn, as well as injuring your sister by shooting her in the leg. We took Mr. Walker from Dr. Barnett's residence, escaped in a horse-drawn carriage, traded that out for a Volvo, and are now holding Mr. Walker captive because, being quite hot, he is the only one who can stop the onslaught of mutant snowflakes that Arvie and I intend to use to take over the world." Nadia raised an eyebrow, glancing from Sark to her father and back again.

"Riiiight… seriously, I think you need to lay off the Rambaldi goo." Shaking her head, Nadia turned and wandered off. Then she paused, and turned back to Sark curiously. "Wait… did you just say MR. Walker is hot?" Sark's jaw dropped, and he looked to Sloane, flustered.

"Well… yes, but… no. I mean…" Sloane rolled his eyes and raised a hand to Sark.

"Julian, please… stop before you hurt yourself." Sark frowned, but shut his mouth and let Sloane do the talking. "We're not the ones who deemed Mr. Walker to be hot. Uh… I'm actually not sure who did… but I assure you, it wasn't Sark." Sark nodded quickly.

"It's true." Nadia looked at them dubiously, not letting it show that her interest, needless to say, had been piqued…

----

"Vaughn? Vaughn, are you ok? Can you hear me?" Sydney asked cautiously, attempting to wake him up. "Damn it Vaughn, get up! We're under siege by mutant snowflakes and we need to get to safety!" She paused briefly, wondering where, exactly, one could go to be safe from mutant snowflakes. There's no need to cover how, exactly, she knew they were mutant snowflakes, as these are obviously things that one just iKnows/i. With a frustrated sigh, Sydney sorta limped/hopped back into Barnett's house in search of a phone.

She had just caught sight of a cell phone on the table when there came a strangled, painful scream from outside. Recognizing it as Vaughn, she slowly hurried to the door, only to stop in horror as soon as she spotted what was happening.

Vaughn was being mauled… by the mutant snowflakes!

----

Back at Sloane's mansion, Sark and Sloane were discreetly discussing their plans over a pleasant cup of tea in the kitchen, not far from Nadia's bedroom. She, of course, was discreetly eavesdropping by pressing herself against the wall and peeking out the door, staring at the devious duo and making careful note of everything they said.

"I talked to Dr. Barnett before she and Kendall left for their little getaway," Sloane was saying. "She was the one who informed me of the onslaught of these snowflakes; it slipped out during the course of a normal therapy session. After she had unintentionally made mention of them, I knew I had to learn more, because it was obviously something that could be used to our advantage." By this point, Nadia was caught up in the tale, and wanting to hear better, she leaned out of her room just a bit more. Unfortunately, she wasn't quite as graceful as she usually was, and so she ended up tripping and landing with a loud thud in the hallway. Sloane immediately stopped talking as he and Sark both swiveled to face Nadia. She sat up with a guilty look.

"What are you doing?" Sark asked, confused.

"Uh… practicing… my ballet?"

"You're not very good at it," Sark observed wryly. Nadia's jaw dropped, and she angrily threw a pencil at him before jumping to her feet and slamming her bedroom door. She paused for a moment, quickly deciding it might have had a better impact if she'd actually gone into her room first. So she proceeded to open the door, enter her room, and then slam the door shut again. Sark and Sloane exchanged glances.

"She's very strange, Arvie," Sark muttered.

"Not my fault… I didn't raise her," Sloane pointed out.

"True. Now, back to Barnett…"

"Ah, yes. As I mentioned, I wanted to gather further information regarding these snowflakes, so I did the natural thing: I hypnotized her. While she was fantasizing about Kendall in a thong, I extracted the info I needed from her. She revealed that these snowflakes have a mind of their own, but can be controlled rather easily. She also told me the one thing that can stop them: the 'unceasing, mind-blowing hotness of Siiiiiimon' was how she put it." Sloane paused with a slightly jealous look towards the basement.

"And we can use these to achieve domination?" At Sloane's nod, Sark continued his questioning. "How do we go about controlling the snowflakes?"

"Let's go outside, up to the rooftop. I'll show you." Sark smiled excitedly, jumping out of his chair and following Sloane up the 13 flights of stairs to the roof. Nadia peeked out of her room as she heard them leaving the kitchen. With a determined nod for no apparent reason, she moved all stealthy and spy-like to the basement stairs. She looked down curiously, then glanced back to the other set of stairs that Sark and Sloane had just gone up.

"I must hurry," she whispered aloud. "They could come back down any minute now…" With that, she stealthily turned to go down the stairs, only to run into the wall and find herself tumbling down.

In the basement, Simon heard the strange noises coming down the stairway, and he looked up, paranoid. Who knew what Sark and Sloane were capable of?, he mused. He could only raise one very sexy eyebrow as something landed at the bottom with a loud groan. A moment later, his other, equally sexy eyebrow rose as well, as he discovered the 'thing' to be a rather beautiful young woman.

"Simon Walker?" she questioned as she slowly got to her feet. He was instantly on alert.

"Who's asking?"

"My name is Nadia…" she trailed off, wondering what, exactly, she should say to him. Finally, she took a deep breath and decided to go for broke. "This is going to sound… preposterous, I'm sure… but I'm going to tell you anyway." Simon leaned back, looking at her with interest.

"Well… this should be good." Nadia took a seat on the floor at Simon's feet- not coincidentally, a spot which provided her with a quite clear view of his muscular chest- and began talking.

"K, my name, as I said, is Nadia. My father is… Arvin Sloane." Simon's look of interest instantly changed to one of distrust. "I know, I know," she rushed out before he could say anything. "He's the one who brought you here. I had nothing to do with that, I swear. Look, I don't know how much time we have, so I'm just going to get to the point- they have some kind of plans brewing, and they seem to feel you are going to be in the way. Whatever it is they want to 'dominate,' I don't think it's good… I want to put a stop to them." Simon nodded slowly.

"And you want my help." Nadia tilted her head, giving him an unreadable look.

"Did you not just hear me? You're a threat. Do you know what they do to people they consider threats?" Simon swallowed nervously, and Nadia smirked. "Exactly."

"Which means your goal is saving me?"

"I have two goals: stopping them and saving you, and I'm really not sure why I care about the second one. Aside from the fact that you're insanely hot," she mumbled under her breath.

"What was that?" Simon asked.

"Oh… nothing. Now, to get you out of those clo… I mean, handcuffs." Simon gave her a dubious look.

"And how do you propose to do that? Do you have the key?"

"No, but it is on the table right next to you." Simon's head snapped to the left, and he could only sigh as he caught sight of the aforementioned key. Nadia grabbed it and released him from the cuff before grabbing his hand and rushing up the stairs. They had just reached the top when they heard voices on the stairs above them. Nadia's eyes widened.

"It's them! Come on, follow me!" Still grasping his hand, she ran for the kitchen, turning the corner just as Sloane and Sark reappeared.

"What now?" Simon whispered anxiously. Nadia looked around frantically.

"Uhh… oh! Under the table!" she pulled him along behind her as she ducked under the table that Sark and Sloane had been sitting at while drinking their tea earlier.

"Are you bloody serious?" Simon demanded as he crouched down next to her.

"Do you have a better idea?" Nadia shot back.

"Oh, you mean aside from the bloody door right behind you?" Nadia turned slowly, frowning as she saw the door.

"Oops… forgot about that." Simon shut his eyes and shook his head in disbelief. They both held their breaths as the footsteps of Sark and Sloane drew ever closer…

---

Sydney grabbed a pillow from the floor and, terrified, began to beat at the mutant snowflakes that had attacked Vaughn. After spending upwards of 12 minutes fighting them off, they finally dispersed, causing Sydney to gasp in shock.

Vaughn wasn't there!

She knelt down, cautious of her leg wound, and inspected the ground where she'd last seen him. She quickly spotted a piece of black cloth that she knew had been from his shirt- he had still been dressed, of course- and picked it up shakily.

She stood up and took a deep breath before going back into the house, completely lost as to what to do. Suddenly, the sound of Irina's voice rang in her head again. "...a tracking device inside of your gift."

"That's it! I'll track Sark and Sloane down and I will find out the truth…"

"Be careful, Sydney. The truth is rarely pure and never simple…" a warning voice called from the doorway. She whirled around, feeling even more confused as she did so.

"Daddy?" He nodded a bit.

"I followed your mother here… seems I missed her though. Don't suppose you have any idea where she went?"

"Actually, she-" Sydney paused, shaking her head quickly. "Wait, that doesn't matter! Dad, I've been shot in the leg, and Vaughn was just eaten alive by mutant snowflakes!" Jack tilted his head.

"Oh really? Too bad I missed that…" Sydney's jaw dropped and Jack hurried on. "I mean, how'd that happen?" She rolled her eyes in aggravation and picked up the box Irina's Christmas gift had been in. At the bottom, mixed in with the tissue paper, she found the device she needed to follow the devious duo.

"I'm going after Sloane and Sark right now. I wouldn't mind having help, but I don't actually need it."

"Lead the way," Jack stated. Sydney nodded.

"Thank you." They both hurried out to Sydney's car and started on the trail.

---

Sark stood next to the table and looked around cautiously, having the distinct feeling that something just wasn't right. Sloane grabbed a chocolate Santa Claus off the kitchen counter and, unwrapping it slowly, turned to face his partner.

"What we need to do next is go down there and talk to Mr. Walker, find out if he has any knowledge of the kind of power he has. We find out everything he knows, or doesn't know… and then we take care of this problem." Sark nodded knowingly, following as Sloane headed down to the basement. As soon as they were out of sight, Nadia stood up and pulled Simon along with her.

"We don't have much time. We have to go, now." He nodded in agreement and they rushed out the door, only to discover that a mutant snowflake invasion was in full swing. Nadia stumbled back as one of them attacked her, landing roughly on the front step. She sat and watched in awe as the snowflakes attempted to attack Simon, only to end up melting as soon as they touched him.

"It's true!" she whispered. "You really are hot enough to melt mutant snowflakes…" He shrugged his muscular shoulders, taking out more snowflakes in the process. Quickly wising up to the danger they were in, the frozen invaders moved away from Simon and turned their attention to Nadia. Her eyes widened and she couldn't stop a scream as they descended upon her like a pack of rabid miniature Chihuahuas. Simon rushed to her side, helping her stand up before wrapping his arms around her, thus preventing the snowflakes from reaching her.

"We have to get to safety, to somewhere more comfortable," Simon said urgently.

"I dunno… I'm quite comfortable at the moment…" Nadia mumbled.

"I'm sure you are," Simon whispered in her ear. "I, however, am rather shirtless and therefore, quite cold." They began inching their way to the street, where Simon had spotted a Volvo parked at the curb. Being wrapped up in one another as they were, they found progress to be a very slow process. They were about halfway there when Sark and Sloane appeared in the kitchen doorway.

"Stop!" Sloane yelled. "Where do you think you're going with my daughter?" He stepped outside, only to find a mutant snowflake awaiting him. He batted it away and scurried back into the kitchen. Simon couldn't help but laugh.

"Who knew the snowflakes would end up being helpful?" he asked Nadia. She grinned lightly.

"Stop right there, Simon," Sark yelled, still in the kitchen doorway. He slowly pulled a gun from his jacket and pointed it at Simon.

"You won't do that," Simon called back. "Not while Nadia's this close to me."

"And quite enjoying being this close…" she mumbled.

"I have excellent aim; Nadia's in no danger." Simon stopped moving, staring at Sark and Sloane defiantly before something caught his eye.

"Perhaps you two should look up," he suggested. Sark and Sloane exchanged confused glances before both turned their heads upward. Sark gasped as he saw what Simon meant.

"Oh, Arvie… it's another mistletoe…"

"So it is…" Sloane agreed.

"Why did you point that out?" Nadia asked quietly.

"I'm hoping the thought of being under mistletoe, with it's tradition, will at least fluster them enough to allow us escape," Simon replied.

"Oh. So you don't expect them to actually…" Simon shook his head.

"No, I don't imagine-" he stopped dead in his tracks, shocked. Nadia, who had been looking up at his handsome faced, turned to see what had caused it. Her eyes widened as she saw that Sark and Sloane had, in fact, followed through on the holiday tradition and were now locked in a close embrace under the mistletoe. Simon covered his eyes briefly. When he lowered his hand, he saw that they were still sharing a kiss.

"What the hell is going on here?" a voice called from behind them. Simon and Nadia turned to see Sydney and Jack, in a car, staring on in shock. Jack quickly got out of the car, ignoring Simon's warnings not to do so. In mere moments, he found himself being bombarded by the snowflakes. Attempting to fight them off, he took a few steps back.

"Dad!" Sydney screamed fearfully, seeing the edge of a cliff behind him. Just seconds later, he took one last step back and tumbled over the edge, taking a number of mutant snowflakes down with him. Sydney stared after him, willing herself not to burst into tears just yet. She reached into the glove compartment and pulled out a gun before turning back to the house.

"This is their fault somehow, I know it!" she yelled, aiming at Sark and Sloane, who were, yes, still wrapped up in a Destined kiss. Simon and Nadia ducked out of the way as she opened fire. Sark fell first, with Sloane landing on tops of him seconds after. The snow below them quickly began turning red, and Sydney nodded in satisfaction.

Unfortunately, her own arm, which she'd stuck out the window in order to shoot, was now being ravaged by the snowflakes. She began trying to fight them off, waving her arm around wildly. Simon and Nadia quickly hit the ground in an effort to avoid the errant bullets that were being fired. Suddenly, the random shooting stopped, and they looked up in time to see her gun land on the ground. They shared a worried look before jumping up and running to the car.

"Sydney?" Nadia asked fearfully. The only remaining sign of her was a small square of red cloth from the shirt she had been wearing, because of course she was still dressed when she had arrived there.

"I'm so sorry Nadia," Simon said quietly. She looked around in shock.

"We need to find out how many mutant snowflakes are left… and we need to eliminate them."

"That group over there by the side of the house? Those are the last ones left."

"How can you be sure?" Nadia asked.

"I overheard Dr. Barnett and Sloane talking about snowflakes while I was in her basement… I didn't know what they meant until today."

"Wait, in her basement?" He grimaced.

"Long story love, I'll tell you some other time. The point is, once they've attacked, a mutant snowflake melts. If we don't stop that group now, they'll end up reproducing, and soon there'll be no way to stop them. But if we get rid of them, we won't have to worry about mutant snowflakes ever again."

"You're the only one who can stop them," Nadia stated.

"I know." With that, he released his hold on her and charged the group of flakes, waving his arms wildly and getting as many as he could with each hit. Two of them broke away and headed for Nadia, who picked up a tree branch to fend them off. Simon came running towards her as soon as he had taken care of the other flakes, diving through the air and melting the last two flakes in the process.

"That's it," he said breathlessly as he climbed to his feet. "They're gone." Nadia hugged him tightly.

"You're wonderful," she whispered. "And hot."

"So I've been told," Simon replied.

"Simon, look… mistletoe," Nadia pointed out.

"Does it count when it's below us rather than above us?" he asked.

"It does as far as I'm concerned," Nadia replied, leaning in for a kiss. Simon wrapped his arms around her again, pulling her close and deciding he rather liked this 'saving the world' stuff.

Unbeknownst to either of them, a lone mutant snowflake watched them from the roof….

---

The end.


End file.
